Stop Looking for “the One” at a Bar

There’s no denying it, we are in the age where Tinder is a thing and “can I buy you a drink?” is an accepted form of courtship. It’s a bit depressing if you ask me and the Friday night bar routine is quickly getting old. If we don’t get checked out, our confidence is shot, but if someone builds up the nerves to approach on the battlefield, they’re automatically categorized as creepy. Apparently, “bar guys are gross.” That poor “bar guy” ends up in a no-win whirlwind, and frankly you, my friend, aren’t above it! You’re ALSO in that goddamn bar, and guess what kind of guys you find there? I’ll let you fill in the blanks.

no thank

Why do people seek to find these sophisticated, funny, charming, successful, intelligent mates and feel totally let down when they don’t find them IN A BAR!? Besides the love of booze and the interest of pairing up, the chances of actually meeting someone with similar likes are pretty slim. There is always a possibility, don’t get me wrong, but you’ll probably never find out because in a bar context, we reject at first glance. What I’m trying to get at here is that this person you are looking for is standing on the pedestal you’ve placed them on, nowhere near a bar.

Basically, go somewhere you feel your well-suited mate would be, somewhere where your guard won’t be so high up. Remember, not everyone is out to get you.


If you like hiking, join a hiking group; plenty of time for chatting and… you know… trees to lean on. The rule is: expand your circles. Are you always getting invited to shows or events on Facebook? Try going to like… One. Wild guess here, but you might actually meet a bunch of new people with similar interests. Do you like to read? Go to a book launch, mingle. Is art your thing? Go to a class or a gallery. Open your mind and have fun. Most importantly, don’t feel discouraged when you don’t find a match on your first evening out; switch it up, expand your circles, drop your guard, and get out there!

BUT, if you’re looking for a match that’s great at beer pong, has a nice collection of Jager-stained shirts, and four dollars to buy you a drink, disregard everything I’ve said and stay in that bar!

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About Britanny Burr

Britanny is from Canmore, Alberta, and attended University in Calgary where she received a Bachelor of Arts in English. She now lives in Montreal, and works as a freelance writer. She loves to do yoga, dance, write, read, and laugh!