Relationships, like everything else, are ever-changing in nature.
Some of these changes are great; for example, promiscuity is no longer frowned upon and divorces are far more common (THANK THE LORD). But other, troubling changes – shall we call them trends – are becoming prevalent in this game we call love. In short, we’re obsessed with the idea of love.
We’ve all fallen head over heels in love with love. Don’t pretend you could play a game of ”Never Have I Ever” with the following:
- The constant search of gazes and looks, being gawked at and checked out. Sadly, we now often associate this lustful action with self-worth, and even love.
- The preoccupation with our peers’ relationships, or lack thereof. (Why is it that when we reconnect with old friends, the first questions exchanged are often regarding relationship status. Why do we HAVE to know first thing?)
- The settling for people we’re NOT really interested in for fear of being alone.
- The single-shamming phenomena. #foreveralone Really?
- The need for approval or affirmation by other individuals (ANY other individual) pretty much determining our own self-love. (Otherwise known as the selfie complex. HA!)
- Tinder, Grinder. Bristlr. Cuddlr. %1 fun, %99 addictive
These are a few of so many examples of the issue at hand. This problem is fueled, mainly, by the *higher* forces of social media: relationship statuses, posted pictures, new friends; number of likes, comments, retweets; trends like Man Crush Monday and Women Crush Wednesday; Ecards and Memes making a spectacle out of celibacy, etc.
Some fall for love early. In fact, high school sweethearts are the epitome of being in love with love. Then there are the others who act like bees in the springtime, moving on from relationship to relationship. Are you maybe one of those who, although always in relationships, still crave the gaze? Still wish to be longed for? I speak from experience here: you my friend, are headed towards a dangerous relationship. Friend, meet L-O-V-E.
How about next time you fall in love, you do it with an actual individual! (Thinking of you here Spike Jones.) Take note of these steps:
- Take a Seat: Assess who you’re dressing up for, why you wish for that person to notice you. If it’s someone you don’t even like, ponder on why you want them to like you. Chances are you won’t have a valid answer. Open your eyes a tad; you might get a reality check.
- Diagnose: Allow yourself to realize that you’ve fallen in love with love and understand that you are one of countless others!
- Make Goals and Meet Them: If you are in a continuous pursuit of love, it’s unlikely you’re feeling very self-affirmed. Make some easy goals: finish a book, paint, run, cook, spend time with friends you care about, anything. But like Nike says; JUST DO IT. There is nothing more affirming than reaching a goal however, make realistic and reachable.
- Admit it! Be honest with not only yourself, but others. I spent a great deal of time wondering why I was so greedy for love, but when I opened up about it, I rarely found someone who didn’t feel the same. It’s great to relate!
- Love Yourself: Take a bath, wear some slippers, do ANYTHING that makes you feel good. Self-love is the strongest form of love, after all, you’re stuck with yourself forever, might as well make it a good run. Perhaps wake up earlier, spend some alone time with yourself, be productive, be proud of yourself. Because you know what? You should be!
We’re interesting creatures, always pairing off or seeking to pair off, playing the game. The love game. It’s not an easy one. Heck, it shouldn’t even be a game. We ALL have something amazing to offer; love yourself, know your worth, give all you have to give. Just don’t fall in love with love; you’ll end up being dragged through the mud, with your face dirty and your heart in pieces. Come on now, you know you deserve better than that!
Photo Credit: http://wallpaperswide.com/falling_in_love-wallpapers.html
About Britanny Burr
Britanny is from Canmore, Alberta, and attended University in Calgary where she received a Bachelor of Arts in English. She now lives in Montreal, and works as a freelance writer. She loves to do yoga, dance, write, read, and laugh!