There is something we all do when we meet someone new, and particularly in flirty situations that we all need to stop immediately! Now, I love to talk about myself as much (probably more) than the average bear, but it needs to be of a certain nature. When meeting new people, the ones that always stand out as the easiest to get along with are the ones who don’t grill you.
No one wants to talk about their occupation, what they take at school, where they’re from, etc straight out of the gates. If they enjoy your company and you’re going to spend some time together, all of this information will come up organically, so let it!
If you are flirting with someone at the bar or at a party, immediately asking them these sorts of questions is really going to hurt your game, even if they don’t realize at the time. Here’s why:
You’re putting them in awkward distant relative banter mode They’ve had this exact conversation with every family member at every family event, don’t recreate these not-so-sexy experiences.
Perhaps they don’t want to be defined by their answers Maybe they’re in between jobs or taking something at school they aren’t very passionate about. They might have an interesting pass time that they are passionate about and would way rather tell you about.
Now they feel they have to do the dance and ask you the same questions They’re now in the “uh oh, they know everything about me and I know nothing about them” conundrum, and forced to robotically ask you the exact same questions.
Even if they’re an astronaut, they already know this, so it’s not an overly exciting topic for them People go to their jobs every day, punch in punch out. It’s the weekend, they’ve got a drink in there hand, do you really think they want to tell you what they were doing all week counting down to this very moment?
You just lumped yourself in with every flirter in history You’ve just accidentally made yourself the everyman of flirting because they have been asked these questions a million times before.
I do it, you do it, we all do it! It seems polite, it probably is polite, but I strongly suggest not firing off these questions all at once. Within moments of a conversation something will be said that will give you an idea or a segue way to ask these things, wait for these opportunities. You will have a far more laid back interaction and probably find out alternative things you really like about this person you’ve now flirted correctly with. Flirt safe ladies and gentlemen!
Photo Credit: http://shannoneileenblog.typepad.com/happiness-is/2010/07/chalkboard-flirting.html
About Britanny Burr
Britanny is from Canmore, Alberta, and attended University in Calgary where she received a Bachelor of Arts in English. She now lives in Montreal, and works as a freelance writer. She loves to do yoga, dance, write, read, and laugh!