Dita Von Teese: The only queen of Burlesque

Le Grand Cabaret, a burlesque event showcasing several local favorites and headlined by none other than Dita Von Teese, had many salivating over the queen’s long-awaited return to the city. The excitement was palpable, the room was filled to capacity, and the crowd did not shy away from the extravagance, dressing in glam lingerie and bedazzling of sequin dresses.

The close to 40-minute delay, to a curiously timed-to-the-minute show, didn’t seem to bother the fans one bit, as long as lady Von Teese was in the building. However, AS SOON as the show started, we were all startled at the poor quality of the first performers; isn’t common knowledge to start and end anything – any. show. – with a bang? I’m seriously just asking here.

Les Jumelles, the first two meant-to-be-cutsie starlettes, dramatically failed to cast anyone’s attention and it felt like they were portraying two caricatural dumb blonds when burlesque should actually be about channeling everything empowering and beautiful about a woman.

The MC, Pinot Noir, as he has himself called, did n.o.t.h.i.n.g. to jumpstart our enthusiasm; he seemed unprepared reading from a notebook, and was completely incomprehensible. I’m still not quite sure if he was actually french-speaking and struggling to articulate proper english words, or rather english-speaking and attempting to add drama and flavour by faking what can only be described as the worst Parisian accent in history. Nothing to make us forget his presence, he stuck on stage for far longer than acceptable, literally a fifteen-minute torture, which lead to a rhythmic string of annoyed sighs.

Lavender May who, although seemed to experience some slight *wardrobe* malfunction, manage to add some sizzle, even with a rather simplistic routine. Thanks to her, at that point, I had some hope, but her efforts were not nearly enough to make up for the minimalistic decor (if we can even call it that) and the overall lack of finesse and luxury that could’ve taken this show to the level where, I believe, most of us expected it to be.

That being said, let’s all praise whatever Lord for Dita, her majesty, who was nothing short of breathtaking. She swept around the stage, owning every second, occupying the space beautifully, and exuding of sensuality and grace. Her magnetism and flawless charisma while performing is reason enough to justify why, put simply, she is second to none.

She, alone, managed to salvage something that was dangerously flirting with disaster.
Still, the pictures are pretty, so enjoy!

Album photo credit: Bruno Guérin
Cover photo credit: Burlexe.com

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